Transcreature: Dear Queers: Stop Doing the Things You Hate Cis Men Doing
I wish queers would realize that they need to keep their hands to themselves. During the Cum2GetHer party after No More Apologies, there was some non-consensual touching of my body and clothing while I was trying to go-go dance.
I think queer cis women and trans folks need to ask themselves the following before coming onto someone in a bar “If I saw a cis straight man do this to someone, how would I feel about that?” If the answer is “I would think he’s a misogynist/be creeped out/be worried about the woman he’s sexually harassing,” then you need to not do that.
I like being flirted with. But I don’t like when drunk girls (or guys, or whoevers) grab at me, or shove their tongues down my throat, or grope me, or otherwise overtly sexually touch me without any lead-in. I’m not even asking for people to ask me directly (although that would be nice). Just please give some non-verbal cues for a couple of minutes and read my verbal and non-verbal cues. Don’t just grab my clothing or kiss me out of nowhere. If we’re sexy-dancing together, and it turns into grinding, chances are I’d be ok with being kissed. If I’m dancing by myself and you appear out of nowhere and suddenly your tongue is in my mouth, I’m not going to be happy about that. And if I’m go-go dancing (which I consider work), do not grab at my clothes or body.
Thanks!
Oh my fucking god. Thank you. I have been groped and harassed multiple times by queer cis women. So much fucking hypocrisy especially regarding prevailing (overwhelmingly transmisogynistic) ideas about what makes a space safe…
This is why Mary B. James (my college’s annual liquor-fueled gender-fuck party) got on my nerves after a while. Because if what it means to be a dude is to grope chicks, then I don’t want to pretend I’m a dude.
(via dotcomslashpost)